Week 1 of 4 – January 5th – PROMPT: Through Hemlock
Keats: “That I might drink, and leave the world unseen, and with thee fade away into the forest dim:”
(Ode To A Nightingale)
For my WIP (work in progress) – Mighty Men
INT. THE CAVE OF ADULLUM - THAT NIGHT
David is resting upon a rock as Joab, Abishai and Benaiah
return to the cave. Their proud expressions belie theirambivalence about David's reception. David sees them
approaching and springs to his feet.
DAVID
I would have hunted with you today.My soul was so restless. What game
did you come upon?
JOAB
Today's game was to confound thepillars of the garrison.
Abishai extends a filled skin to David.
ABISHAI
The desire of your heart cousin. DAVID
What? You went down ... JOAB
Yes, from the well of Bethlehem. DAVID
(astonished)It is I that have been confounded.
David looks first at Joab, and with love upon Abishai, then
turns to Benaiah. DAVID (CONT'D)
And, you, wise Benaiah, had a partin this?
ABISHAI
To be sure David. A large part. BENAIAH
We knew the Philistines would beself-contented and distracted by
their folly. It was no great deed.
DAVID
No great deed! I would consume this as wormwood,
if it would dispel the folly of our own
king Saul.
ABISHAI
Do not be upset cousin. Saul maypresently be king ...
JOAB
(interrupting)But David, we follow you.
DAVID
Yes, but if our king would only knowthat our God has seeded the kingdom
with such mighty men as you ...
JOAB
Behold how swiftly, God has answeredyour prayer.
ABISHAI
And ours. (gesturing at the men)
And the prayers of all of these.
You are the Lord's anointed David.
DAVID
My real prayer is that Saul would notcontinue shortening the lives of
our people, and would allow them to
flourish and prosper.
Asahel comes rushing over, Uriah is close behind.
Asahel is oblivious to David's displeasure.
ASAHEL
Brothers, why do you insist onleaving me behind, when you pursue
the good fights.
JOAB
Hold back, Asahel. DAVID
Asahel, thank God your brothersthink to protect you.
(sternly, to the three)
But, they also should have stayed
from this venture.
JOAB
No Cousin. DAVID
Only by jeopardizing your liveshave you brought this.
ASAHEL
No one lives forever David. David grunts at his young cousin Asahel, and extends the skin
out and away from himself. BENAIAH
My lord! DAVID
If there be any immortality for ourbeloved people, far be it from me,
by drinking this precious water,
to curse them.
ABISHAI
But DAVID
Far better that I pour it out as adrink offering to our God, than
that I should drink the blood of
you mighty men.
JOAB
No! David pours out the water onto the rock.
ABISHAI
(conceding)David, by God, live forever.
URIAH
David, by God, live forever. ALL
David, by God, live forever.449 words
Thank you Stevie McCoy for this #NIGHTGALE Challenge,
which so seamlessly fits into one of my current projects.Gears a turnin!
Bob Mahone
Follow @Computilizer
Powerful message to pour out the water. Was the water an elixer? or perhaps their own water supply dwindling?
ReplyDeleteWell hopefully more answers will be provided if you use the same characters for the next challenge. Until Next Time!
The subtitle for Mighty Men is The Story of Uriah the Hittite and David His King
ReplyDeleteMy apologies, certainly did not intend any bible gotcha. While hiding from King Saul in the cave at Adullam, and while the Philistine garrison were pitched near Bethlehem, David had pined for water from the well in the city of his birth. This somewhat extra-biblical scene was to introduce attributes of the 2nd tier of the top 3 mighty men – Joab (elder/cousin), Abishai (older yet subordinate cousin), and Benaiah (last man standing among the mighties). Asahel is
Asahel, impetuous younger brother of Joab and Abishai, will be overtaken by immortality (2 Sam 2:23) in week 2 of this challenge.
Uriah will be killed in week 3 by David (2 Sam 11:15) for his wife Bathsheba and be united with David’s God who has become Uriah’s God.
The pouring out of the water was noted in describing what distinguished the 2nd tier 3 mighties (2 Sam 23:13-17). My point in the scene was to establish Uriah’s witness of this event.
this does fit in nicely with the Nightgale theme. Great job.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I am loving how Nightgale is helping me to tie the backstories together.
DeleteIt is an impressive fit, and I'm excited to see it written as a script since that's the form my best works have taken of late.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid my knowledge of the Bible isn't what is should be, but I do look forward to seeing what else you do with this challenge.
Actually, keeping the Bible from being a stumbling-block is my greatest task in this effort. Thanks for your ecouragement.
DeleteThis was very moving. Nice work.
ReplyDelete-Nellie
Thank you. I am very much a rookie in all of this. But, I write daily because of you guys.
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